Doomscrolling in Disguise: What Preteen YouTube Habits Are Really Showing Us

It’s late. The house is finally quiet. And as I walk past my daughter and her friends mid-sleepover, I catch that familiar glow—faces lit by phones, eyes locked on endless YouTube videos. My poor child sat there awkwardly trying not to watch, because she knows the rule in our house: no YouTube without an adult. FYI—I did stick my head in and politely ask the girls to hop off YouTube, as it’s not welcome in our home. Thankfully, they respected it.

At first glance, it all seemed harmless. A “what to pack for a sleepover” vlog. A GRWM (get ready with me) video. Maybe a skincare routine. All very age-appropriate… on the surface.

But dig a little deeper and the red flags are hard to miss: the exaggerated poses, the flirtatious tone, the subtle body language. The fact that these girls—sometimes as young as nine or ten—are mimicking the energy of full-grown influencers who learned long ago that sex sells. And who’s watching? Millions. With unknown faces behind anonymous usernames.

The problem here is that while our children doomscroll for hours on end through seemingly harmless content – there is generally no adult present. We already know their ability to critically think and assess the messages being filtered through these videos is not quite developed just yet! I remember family movie nights from when I was younger, the awkward moment one of “Those” scenes would happen and me covering my eyes or shrinking into the couch because I wanted to be anywhere but here, with my family, being exposed to something I was clearly not ready for. Because that’s what that feeling is – its confusion – it’s the neural pathways & cognitive development not quite developed just yet. Thankfully on family movie night, parents are present to explain or at the very least – fast forward.

I’m not here to shame girls exploring their identity. I celebrate confidence, self-expression, and healthy sexuality. But let’s be real—a child on YouTube, tossing their hair and pouting into the camera while talking about sleepover snacks, isn’t empowered… they’re being exploited. Whether they know it or not.

And here’s the part that makes me want to scream: Why are so many parents OK with this? Why are we letting our kids post content we wouldn’t feel comfortable watching ourselves? When I was a kid, I wanted lollies for breakfast—and my parents said no, because it wasn’t good for my health. So why is no one saying no to the digital junk food that’s reshaping our kids’ self-worth?

This isn’t just about your child. It’s about the messages we’re pumping into the algorithm, shaping an entire generation’s idea of what it means to be “seen,” to be “liked,” to be worthy. It’s not just personal—it’s cultural.

Our House Rule: No YouTube Without an Adult

In our home, YouTube is banned unless an adult is watching alongside. Not because we’re control freaks—but because we care. Because we want to teach digital literacy before the internet does.

We use open-ended questions to build critical thinking:- “What do you think this video is really about?”- “Why do you think they’re acting like that?”- “Would you feel safe or proud making a video like this?”

We’re not here to judge—we’re here to guide. And we’re not afraid of awkward conversations, because the cost of silence is way higher.

Tips for Managing YouTube & Screen Content in Your Home

1. Watch with them. Don’t assume.2. Use YouTube Kids with caution—it’s not a digital babysitter.3. Set boundaries. No phones in bedrooms. No silent scrolling.4. Model good habits. Show your own limits and breaks.5. Talk often, and talk real. The earlier the better.

The Research: Why This Matters

According to a 2023 Common Sense Media report, 76% of children aged 8–12 watch YouTube weekly, and 63% say they’ve come across content that made them uncomfortable.

And the consequences are deeper than we think. Professor Wayne Warburton of Macquarie University has warned that excessive social media use in children is linked to actual loss of grey matter in the brain—particularly in areas responsible for abstract thinking, decision-making, and emotion regulation. He compares this neurological impact to what is observed in individuals with drug addictions. Let that sink in.

We’re talking about developing brains. Fragile identities. And content designed to be addictive, appearance-focused, and reward-driven. The question isn’t if it has an impact—it’s how deep the impact will go.

This isn’t a tech-bashing blog. It’s a call to action. Because algorithms don’t raise children—parents do. And we have to stop handing over that responsibility to the internet without a fight.

So let’s be brave. Let’s say no when needed. Let’s step in, not just scroll past. Our kids deserve more than influence—they deserve guidance.

Because the goal isn’t to raise children who never see questionable content. It’s to raise children who know exactly what to do when they do.