Self-Care Sunday

 You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Juggling work, family, a social life (or at least pretending you have one), staying active, looking fabulous (let’s be real – when's the last time you bought clothes that didn’t scream "Kmart clearance"?), eating healthy, and guzzling enough water to float a boat. It’s enough to make anyone bonkers.

Welcome to the rushing women’s syndrome trap: always needing to be as busy as a bee on caffeine and finding relaxation as elusive as a unicorn. Dr. Libby Weaver coined this term to describe the emotional rollercoaster women often ride when they’re sprinting through life trying to check off every box. Sure, there are days when you have to buckle down and tackle that to-do list that’s longer than Santa's naughty list, but we end up stuck in this loop of perpetual busyness, focusing on all the things we have to do, rather than the things we’d actually like to do.

• Think you might be experiences rushing women’s syndrome? Check out Dr. Libby’s website for targeted support: Overcoming Rushing Woman’s Syndrome – Dr Libby

  
  

Discussing the daily stress parents, especially mothers, experience is often considered taboo. We weren't warned before pregnancy just how challenging this role would be, and perhaps for good reason—if we had known how emotionally taxing it is, the population might have been at risk long ago! That said, parenting today is quite different from when my mum was raising kids. Burnout and parental stress were real issues back then too (sorry, mum—it wasn't that long ago), but the constant access to information and feedback on our parenting wasn't as prevalent. There was no social media, no parenting hype or blogs (ironically) telling us we're doing it wrong and offering tips on how to do it right—maybe just the occasional critique from the mother-in-law (just kidding). Moreover, not only are we distracted and feeling inadequate due to social media and technology, but our children are also overwhelmed with tech, screens, information, critical feedback, and social media pressures.

Let's get straight to the point—self-care and how it can help us mothers relax! Here's what works for me: exercise! It might not be revolutionary, but it's been a lifesaver for me. I started by joining a gym, and I still remember my first class and nearly collapsing when I got home—who would go back after that? I did, and I became fitter and stronger. What I found particularly helpful was that I was so EXHAUSTED from the gym that I had no energy left to rush around like I usually did. I could take my children with me, and they could watch and sometimes join in, which I loved. Over time, those small habits encouraged them to develop an interest and love for sports and exercise.

• Looking for a great gym? Cannot recommend Fitness Compound highly enough – check them out Fitness Compound.

As I improved my fitness, I sought more challenges. After a few glasses of wine and some bold conversation one evening, my husband signed me up for my first 5KM run! I was horrified, and my confidence waned the next sober morning—but the commitment was made, and I couldn't back out—5KM! I hadn't run more than 300 meters, except when one of the kids tried to leg it at the local shops. This challenge gave me something to concentrate on, and it was then that I realized the importance of having small goals, unrelated to parenting or work, goals that are solely mine. A hobby, if you will. Running, if you haven't tried it, is amazing for the mind—a meditative state, if you will.

While my passion for fitness grew (though I'm far from a fitness expert and my VO2 max isn't at an athlete's level), I started integrating more routine into my daily life, dedicating time for myself. Here are the benefits I discovered:

1.       Establishing a routine with general timeframes helped me stay focused and better organise my day.

2.       Allocating specific time for myself allowed me to be present throughout the day, creating a flow state. For instance, when I reserved time for exercise, I wasn't rushing through it thinking about my to-do list, as I had already set aside time for routine tasks like laundry and cleaning.

3.       My children would see me exercising—numerous studies show that when children watch or engage in exercise with their parents, they often exhibit lower anxiety and depressive symptoms and higher life satisfaction. Children typically adopt the healthy habits they observe (which eventually leads to participation—yes, all our children run, even the bookworm) and carry these habits into adulthood.

4.       Exhaustion—it's difficult to overthink when you're exhausted. My constantly active mind, with countless thoughts, quieted down to a gentle hum. The calmness was incredible—highly recommended.

5.       It motivated me to eat better, which improved my overall health and well-being.

6.       Enhanced my sleep—good sleep equals a happy mum, in my opinion.

Ultimately, parenting can be an all-consuming role. We strive to be perfect parents and do right by our children, which is understandable. However, it's important to recognize that we cannot give what we don't have (as the saying goes). Step back, stop overthinking whether you're doing it right (for now), and focus on doing what's right for yourself. Establish habits that alleviate your stress and cultivate healthy practices you can eventually pass on to your children.

If you've read this far in the blog – thank you for being here! If you need assistance in creating a routine to get started, feel free to email me, and I'd be glad to help!